Diving In

by justine

I have a side business (www.homelifema.com) on top of my regular 9-5, my boyfriend, my dog, long-distance phone calls to my favorite people, exercising and errands… You can see how it’s possible that I love blogging but have yet to carve out a consistent time for it. Today though, I somehow did it all. Well, not ALL, but everything I set out to do. And not even that, but I touched, if ever briefly, on each aspect of my life I currently deem important. I didn’t have a dream day or even a vacation day, but I did have a FULL day.

Two things happened: 1. I set an intention last night as to what I wanted a fantastic day to be like and 2. I took action. Up at 6AM I started. Write, walk the dog, 9-5 work, part-time work, check email, work out etc.

I mention my business because it requires things outside my comfort zone – things like cold calling. Stress built up as I went along my day. I hit the gym at lunch to relieve some pressure. It helped, for sure, but I still had a nagging feeling that I just hadn’t accomplished anything.

And isn’t that the worst? When you’re planning and doing and just not getting anywhere fast?

So as I was ellipticalling, I allowed myself to take a breather. “This is the only time today where nothing is required of you but zoning out and sweating,” I told myself. Easy enough. And then the encouraging words began to flow. I reminded myself that it wasn’t even 3pm and I had taken action on each item I’d planned to. That I couldn’t expect everything to happen at once. At least, I’d worked out two days in a row. That this was better than boredom. And, most importantly, I had started.

I hadn’t sulked or delayed or complained. I quit making excuses and did what I thought would improve my life.

But the real kicker was this – after being frustrated that I hadn’t done enough, that I wasn’t worth a rest to even pee – and I just kept working – my boyfriend asked, “What are your plans this evening?”.

“Uh, I don’t know – what are yours?” He doesn’t ask me things like this usually.

“Well, I was wondering if your night was free because I booked you a massage,” he said with a smile.

A MASSAGE?! He has never done that before. How lucky am I – that a day where I work and stress and don’t even help him as much as I could (he’s my business partner too) he goes and books me a massage? So, I have bigger thoughts and more exciting stories, but instead I give you a small view into an ordinary day. After diving in, after rubbing against my edge, after worrying, the Universe via my boyfriend rewards me with a massage. And I’m so grateful and feel so loved, I could cry.