How To Be Alone

by justine

Alone. Solitary. Unaccompanied. Lonely.

This is not a blog post of high authority, explaining to you, dear Reader, the merits of alone time and how to thoroughly escape the world at large. I’m no good at being alone, though it seems my batteries only recharge when I have time to do so.

It’s a constant struggle for me. I’ve grown up with myself strong and confident, I think, and then realizing I live as a reflection of how I think others need me. Or I think they need me. Or I think about what I should be doing or how I’m not doing enough or what else I want to be doing, though given the chance, I wouldn’t really. If you haven’t gathered, I think a lot.

One of the downfalls of working alone is you can dive headfirst into the interweb of doom. There’s lots of wonderful things on the internet and then there’s lots of not-so-great things. Whether you’re in the good or the bad camp, we can all agree that there is a point in your web surfing where you hit what I call the downward spiral. Like when you’ve clicked through 40 pictures of a friend of a friend’s wedding photos and know absolutely no one in the album. And it makes you feel bad.

Now, there’s a lot of science being published about how the constant flow of information is ruining our brains or how we’re all getting dumber, and I understand there is a place for that discussion, but that’s not why I’m here.

I’m writing to show you that, via one of the fabulous blogs that do feed my soul, I found this video by film maker Andrea Dorfman and poet/singer/songwriter Tanya Davis:

It never occurred to me before but all the easy places she suggests are some of my favorite: bathrooms, libraries, coffee shops, the gym. Turns out, they’re socially acceptable places to be alone.

I was taken not just by the artsy video and the calm drifting of Tanya’s voice, but of the poignant spot on recognition that YES – that is exactly what it’s like when you start to sink into and enjoy being alone.

These lines so true: “no one’s in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept” and “Cuz if you’re happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.”

And my favorite line: “but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.”

Thank you Tanya, for making alone OK.