Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Mind Body Integration

This¬†prompt is beyond me. While I’ve been working a lot of my mind this year ¬†(how I see the world, how I react to the world, what my projections are) and I’m aware of my body (I work out, I eat well, I notice my hormone fluctuations) combining the two hasn’t been a priority. This prompt brings to light this disconnect.

I’m aware that my thoughts affect my mood and how I feel within my body. I’m aware that my mood is elevated by exercise. Anything deeper than that – an actual integration – is not a place I’ve reached yet.

Lately I’ve had a problem with eating a lot at each sitting. It’s not that I eat beyond feeling full but that I want to keep eating all the time. I crave sugar and salt. I do not view food as fuel for my high-energy body. I can eat meat or processed foods without any awareness of where it came from.

There’s a disconnect.

So, while I’m not able to respond to this prompt directly, I can say that it’s raising an important red flag for me. Something to focus on and think about for 2011. More yoga, more water, more fruits and vegetables, and more sleep. More relaxation, more walks, more hugs, more beach, and more meditation. And to respect my body and pay it as much attention as I’ve been paying my mind.

I may feel that disconnect or I may be unaware of it, but it’s tied to self-abusive, feelings of unworthiness. Awareness is the first step.

11 Things on the 12th

There is so much I want to eliminate in my life and so much more I want to add…


  • Sugar, especially soda and over-sweetened tea
  • Mindless TV watching
  • Extended, complaining phone calls
  • Putting pressure on myself about anything
  • Mean thoughts, about myself or others
  • Overeating
  • My “story” – thoughts that cause me pain
  • More debt, especially my car loan
  • Guilt – that I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing, that I’m making someone else unhappy, or that I’m not “doing enough” with my time
  • Self-counscioness – to just go for it, to laugh loud, to be silly
  • Freezing in stressful situations.


  • Delicious tea, lemon water, coconut water and juice
  • Reading, writing, podcasts, kissing
  • Warm, friendly conversations
  • Allowing myself to just be
  • Awareness, forgiveness
  • Healthy food, small portions
  • Inquiry
  • Budget & saving
  • Gratitude for everything I’m able to do and be
  • Silliness, smiles and spontaneity
  • Take a breath, think and then speak honestly