To Gain Value

by justine

Staying in line with my theme of emerging / presence, “appreciation” could be the binding element. As my life has expanded and my true self has begun to emerge here in 2010, I’ve found that my ability to notice and appreciate the details has expanded as well.

The Happiness Project had this quote the other day and it sums it up perfectly:

“Happiness does not consist in things themselves but in the relish we have of them; and a man has attained it when he enjoys what he loves and desires himself, and not what other people think lovely and desirable.”  ~ La Rochefoucauld

It’s silly to write, “this year I’ve learned to appreciate appreciation” but it’s true. I am learning to appreciate my life, to be truthful about my own desires and recognize that, in the long run, I’m here to make myself happy. Not in some selfish way but in a self-serving way. If I focus on my happiness, my wholeness, my reality then I will be healthy enough to serve others.

This definition suits my point: sensitive awareness. Being sensitive and hyper-aware then, my emergence this year has allowed me to notice the details of my life. To relax into a Saturday nap or notice the sunlight trees on early morning walks with the dog. To just be present and whole in the moment. To know that everything is good and as it should be, even if it feels upsetting or scary. To give myself all the approval for my life that I’ve been aching for from other people.

I love these posts, and not because I’m super prepared to respond. Unfortunately, each post feels like some hurtful, critical feedback – too difficult and too much to contemplate. I’m realizing, though, that it’s partially the perfectionist in me (will my post be right?)  and partially that I’ve just never thought about these things. In fact, I was having a terrible time of “gratitude” a month or two ago. I just didn’t get it. Somehow something changed because I feel more grateful for my days now. I think that shift happened with being more present. The less time my mind is on the past or the future the more I am available to experience the fullness of life in the moment.

Appreciate – to gain value. As my I’ve focused on myself this year, as I’ve allowed myself to just be, with less criticism and pressure, I’ve found that my life is richer and more perfect than it ever has before. But my life hasn’t changed that much.

I did. I am relishing in what I have.