Seeking Equilibrium

by justine

Just survived 10 days of back-to-back parental visits. And I don’t use the word survived lightly. It was a crazy combination of busyness, bad dreams at 3am, restaurant food, talking, alcohol, heat waves and general anxiety. I made it through better than I thought I would, considering, but not before suffering one of the worst bouts of indigestion of my life (full torso pain, nausea, and a 2hr nap).

Needless to say, I am in need of extra quiet, rest and water. Planning on taking this week as slowly as possible, laying low and regrouping. Mercury Retrograde in Aries started with a bang last week, complete with an angry email from someone I hardly know, the dog escaping from his leash and out-of-left-field developments at my job.

But I’m taking it all in stride.

As I was writing my MPs the other day, I felt a huge sense of gratitude well up in my chest. I am so lucky I started the AW process to carry me through this tumultuous time. I am just beginning to trust myself and the universe again, and even though everything seems really up-in-the-air, I know I’m OK.

With all of the visiting, I didn’t have time for a “true” artist date, but I made sure to get some self-love in (not enough, but hey, you do what you can). I bought myself flowers – orangey red tulips, that opened up into baskets of vibrant silken color.

Today, I hit the farmers market alone. Walked the length of it 4x. At first I felt anxiety and guilt, but as I walked, that sense of hope came back. The noise, the toddlers waddling around, the hustling didn’t irk me at all. I felt rocked by the energy of all of these people living their lives and me, finally finding a quiet moment in the chaos.

Red lettuce, bread, lemons and cauliflower filled my bag. Microwaved the cauliflower and ate it mashed with margarine. Filled my Nalgene up with lemon water. Off-set leftover pasta with lettuce, carrots and zucchini. Sipped herbal tea.

I’m going to watch the country awards and get some sleep.

Doing everything I can for equilibrium.