New Moon PMS

by justine

Here’s what PMS feels like for me:

A raging headache, the kind that starts in my neck and jaw and continues up through the strap muscles on my head. If this sounds like a tension headache, it’s probably because it is, but add to that base pain a sinus pressure under my eyes where only pressing my palms to my face help.

A tiredness that rides along nervous energy. I’m too drained to do anything and too anxious to relax.

A hunger that isn’t satisfied by normal size meals or even real food. No matter how much I eat, my stomach feels hollow (and looks swollen). Cravings for cookies, chocolate and sugar make my mouth water. Even if I don’t feel hungry, I think I am.

Intense, usually stressful, dreams. Waking up feels abrupt, slogging or confusing. I may wake up crying or with a racing heart.

Tantrums. Whenever I feel a shameful wrath surging, where I want to stamp my feet and pound my fists and have my own 4 yr-old meltdown, I know I’m PMSing.

All of this tends to coincide with a New or Full moon, fluctuating slightly over the years.

I’m learning to relax into these ebbs and flows, to allow myself to rest when those headaches sideline me and then scurry around multi-tasking when my energy is high.

I’m not an astrologer, but I’m drawing a line between tonight’s new moon in Taurus (money, security) falling in my 8th house (regeneration, clearing away for the new, other people’s money). I’m slated to start a new job which is enough, but I’m feeling another shift…

I’m in a holding pattern right now. My new position doesn’t start till June, I’m in between student groups, my internet / email / computer / phone communication is spotty and I’m coming into 7 weeks without therapy. The urge to fly forwards pushes at me while there are still so many details to work out. And it’s been *hot*, which only adds to the fever in my body.

I’m out of the woods – the dark, dank woods that sucked me down through March & April, but I’m just entering a clearing. A place to rise up from the ashes, stronger and clearer in what I need to do next. For now, we’ll have to rest… and wait and see.