Idling High

by justine

We haven’t been sleeping well. I’m not sure if it’s the heat, humidity, our bed or energy levels but it’s annoying. This morning? Wide awake at 3:30AM, kid you not. After taking the dog downstairs for water and getting back under the covers, I was still perfectly awake. Not even resentfully, exhausted awake. At that point, you just get up. There was no going back to sleep.

I wrote morning pages by candlelight. H got up too. He listened to Harry Potter on audio, ate egg-bake and sat quietly with me. When he went upstairs to shower, I fell asleep sitting up on the couch, and moved back to bed for a few more hours. He kissed me good-bye before he left. Carter came up and cuddled with me, having not slept well either.

Because Carter wasn’t feeling well, I decided a walk would be the best use of our morning. We meandered around the neighborhood, him sniffing and peeing on his usual spots, me taking in the grey sky and snapping a few photos. The white flowers above (roses?) are my favorite flower in the neighborhood. A bunch of houses grow them and because of the heat a few weeks ago, they’re all exploded in their yards.

My therapist said that my “idling is running high”. I couldn’t have said it better myself. As the days get longer, we’re moving into a new rhythm. That energy “overage” needs to be channeled somewhere and I’m shifting focus to my own creativity. It seems when I do, I feel happier, lighter and even excited. When I don’t, I feel pent-up and frustrated.

Today, I made a point to only put small meals of good food into my body. I worked out, processed emails, gave Carter a bath, cooked dinner and took some time to write at my favorite coffee house. Our wedding invitations went out in the mail. As I write this, I’m sipping peppermint tea to stem my grumbly tummy, but I feel good.

How is everything in your neck of the woods?

{post script: there is someone blasting rap music across the street so I don’t see tonight’s sleep going much better than last night’s ::sigh::}