Fluidity

by justine

Today was another up & down day. This is getting exhausting.

And amazingly enough, it was somehow productive – the good and bad fading so quickly into one another it was hard to keep track. Fluid, I guess. Also, a total pain in the ass.

Overall I feel vulnerable, frustrated and a bit like I’m hustling. (Insert Brene Brown link here, which in my tiredness I am unable to find) For what, for who, I’m not sure. I bet it doesn’t help the person I report to has changed 3x in one month. Or that I have 5 events, 4 trips and one presentation to do in the next 6 weeks. Or that I can’t seem to get consistent exercise and did I mention the heat?!

One of the good parts of today was working from a Starbucks. I get so much done with limited battery power and ambient noise of other people surrounding me. One of the down parts was saying something to H that hurt his feelings. Whether or not I’m able to keep myself out of this funk is one thing, but the fact that I can apologize to him and not make things a huge fight (anymore) is a win for the day. I’m still doing something right.

Also, H took me to the self-carwash, the kind with quarter machines and huge water guns, and taught me how to wash my own car. I know how to do it but not at these self-serve car-washes that dot Los Angeles. One step closer to being a native…? Guess we’ll have to see.

 

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