Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Cafe Gratitude

 

 

 

Almost cried with joy when I walked into Cafe Gratitude on Saturday for a women’s work brunch.

I want to buy a house and renovate it to exactly like this restaurant. Glass bottles with words craved into them, menu items with names like I am Happy, I am Awesome. Succulent planters on the tables. White wood, marble counters, gray stools. Giant windows that reminded me of my favorite San Francisco stop.

My order: I AM TRANSFORMED Two organic corn tacos with sautéed seasonal vegetables, guacamole, black beans, salsa fresca and cashew nacho cheese. Served with a side salad.

It was fantastic and I can not wait to go back.

 

Done and Done

And just like that, all of the events / work stress is over. Compared to last year, I managed it all like a champ.

(Also, good to see I’m still eating some version of eggs with veggies for breakfast hah)

5 events in 4 days. Interacting with over 300 people – about 40 longer conversations. Sleep or no sleep, though I skipped the alcohol and I ate pretty well. My running slowed down a lot. The self-care increased. Even fought a small bought of food poisoning that woke me up from 3-4am on Sunday morning, 6hrs before the largest event.

The best part? I didn’t cry.

Crying, for me, is a sign that I am spent, maxed out, beyond small tweaks of help. It’s my inner 4 yr old raging, my ability to problem solve flushed down the toilet. Somehow I kept my reserves full enough that I always had that buffer.

What amazed me the most was the support I had this year compared to last year. This year I was surrounded by women, all of whom can handle events, know where to put their efforts and give great hugs. I accepted every hug I could get.

Of course it helps that this year’s events were over-attended and therefore total successes, but what matters to me, and my enjoyment of my birthday month coming up, is that I am happy… not with the results of the events, but with myself. That I am not shaming or beating myself up over the outcomes of mixers and meetings. Instead I am proud of myself – for staying as calm as possible, for drinking tons of water, for asking for and accepting help.

Such a different head-space than last year.

And today was my annual day off. Again, this year I was smarter. Instead of waiting until I was past my limit, I pre-planned my day off. So far, it’s awesome.

Off to a nap I go… xo.