A Note For My Mom

by justine

My mom doesn’t know I write this, but I’m hoping to share it with her soon. And if you read along, you know I don’t mention other people much because this is public and I respect their privacy. This account is more for me, and whoever else it may help if they stumble upon it.

But I wanted to drop a note here for her, for us, and where we are. It’s been over a year since we had our most horrible (and hopefully last) insane knock-down-drag-out fight. The kind where you scream and yell and then hang up on each other. The kind where you get into bed and cry the rest of the day. The kind where, if this were a relationship with a man, I would’ve left. Immediately.

I tried to write about my feelings here.

It’s also been over a year since my mom has taken control of her life, taking herself through a weight-loss program that also touched her soul. And thank God for that, because now we have a real relationship.

And so, here on Mother’s Day, I just want to say how proud I am of her in the changes she’s made, in her attitude shift that allows her to enjoy and cherish life again. And how lucky I am that she’s come back to us, that we can have a true friendship now at this time in our lives, that she can appreciate the life I have, and how my husband loves me, and all of life’s awesomeness in general.

When friends ask me for advice dealing with a parent who is acting crazy, I can only say so much. The frustrations and anger back then were almost too much to deal with – I really thought I was going to have to limit our relationship for my own protection. But now that things are so much better, I don’t have much advice at all, because I didn’t change.

My mom did.

And for that, I can celebrate this mother’s day more than any before. Love you mom. xo.

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