Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Tag: body

This Grateful Season – Running

Today I went out for a short, slow 2 miles with the dog. I mean, with him dragging along behind me, I’m lucky to hit 12min / mile. It’s kind of pathetic – and yet, I feel so awesome when I’m done.

Running is, for me, one of the best releases of energy and anxiety. I started running back in 2007 with just a website training schedule and Nike sneakers. No music, water bottles or running gear. I trained for a 10k and connected with a friend who started running with me. But, I’ve told this story before.

What I want to write about now is how grateful I am to my body for holding weight as I’ve aged, for my muscle tone, for my ability to go out and jog 2 miles after not exercising for over three weeks.

I’ve tossed around the idea of training for a 1/2 marathon over the years, though I haven’t raced since that 10k in 2007. The farthest I’ve gone recently is 4 miles, and by recently, I mean in 2012. But over the past week the urge is creeping in.

When else will my life perfectly support 1/2 marathon training? We have cooler weather, flat land, beach paths, H is busy and I can bring the pup to a dog park on running days. Plus, I have no major demands on my time and my work schedule is flexible. If I started now, I could run a 1/2 in April 2013.

I am not training just yet, but my new shoes (pink & green!!) arrived in the mail today and I can’t wait to get out tomorrow and try ’em out.

Read about another friend’s 10k she just ran – go Katie!


For the month of November, I write each day about something I’m grateful for and call it Grateful Season. It’s my way of reviewing the amazing year I’ve had and helps me focus on blogging during the crazy holiday season uptick. Feel free to join me – just make sure you let me know!

Mind Body Integration

This prompt is beyond me. While I’ve been working a lot of my mind this year  (how I see the world, how I react to the world, what my projections are) and I’m aware of my body (I work out, I eat well, I notice my hormone fluctuations) combining the two hasn’t been a priority. This prompt brings to light this disconnect.

I’m aware that my thoughts affect my mood and how I feel within my body. I’m aware that my mood is elevated by exercise. Anything deeper than that – an actual integration – is not a place I’ve reached yet.

Lately I’ve had a problem with eating a lot at each sitting. It’s not that I eat beyond feeling full but that I want to keep eating all the time. I crave sugar and salt. I do not view food as fuel for my high-energy body. I can eat meat or processed foods without any awareness of where it came from.

There’s a disconnect.

So, while I’m not able to respond to this prompt directly, I can say that it’s raising an important red flag for me. Something to focus on and think about for 2011. More yoga, more water, more fruits and vegetables, and more sleep. More relaxation, more walks, more hugs, more beach, and more meditation. And to respect my body and pay it as much attention as I’ve been paying my mind.

I may feel that disconnect or I may be unaware of it, but it’s tied to self-abusive, feelings of unworthiness. Awareness is the first step.