Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Tag: celebrate

How We Celebrated

Our one year anniversary was on 7.7.13 and we celebrated exactly as we do – in quiet, at home.

We had a four-day weekend because of the holiday. H went for the 1st anniversary sentiment of paper. He created a photobook of our wedding photos – something I had yet to do. It’s beautiful. I cried looking through it.

Our wedding was not just the happiest day because we spoke our love in front of our family and friends, but because it was proof that we are a team – that we could work together to achieve something so wonderful, to be experienced by everyone in our lives. That we could combine our intentions and talents and love and create bliss

He cooked the most delicious dinner of lemon chicken and rice. He ordered a cake like the one from our wedding – vanilla cake and frosting, with strawberry filling. We put our cake topper on it and used the Lenox cake set for good measure.

He wrote me a heart-felt card. I wrote one back.

I ordered us a map from the mad mapper on Etsy. It’ll be of our neighborhood, of this apartment, where we came together as a family, where H proposed, our hub for wedding planning, and where we adopted Carter.

And while the day wasn’t a wild celebration of hotels, vacation, wine and adventure, it was us. Quiet, private, loving and reflective of our homelife.

Just like our proposal, our wedding, our love… our one year was perfect.

And if you feel like dancing with your honey… try our wedding song:

Happy One Year

A Note For My Mom

My mom doesn’t know I write this, but I’m hoping to share it with her soon. And if you read along, you know I don’t mention other people much because this is public and I respect their privacy. This account is more for me, and whoever else it may help if they stumble upon it.

But I wanted to drop a note here for her, for us, and where we are. It’s been over a year since we had our most horrible (and hopefully last) insane knock-down-drag-out fight. The kind where you scream and yell and then hang up on each other. The kind where you get into bed and cry the rest of the day. The kind where, if this were a relationship with a man, I would’ve left. Immediately.

I tried to write about my feelings here.

It’s also been over a year since my mom has taken control of her life, taking herself through a weight-loss program that also touched her soul. And thank God for that, because now we have a real relationship.

And so, here on Mother’s Day, I just want to say how proud I am of her in the changes she’s made, in her attitude shift that allows her to enjoy and cherish life again. And how lucky I am that she’s come back to us, that we can have a true friendship now at this time in our lives, that she can appreciate the life I have, and how my husband loves me, and all of life’s awesomeness in general.

When friends ask me for advice dealing with a parent who is acting crazy, I can only say so much. The frustrations and anger back then were almost too much to deal with – I really thought I was going to have to limit our relationship for my own protection. But now that things are so much better, I don’t have much advice at all, because I didn’t change.

My mom did.

And for that, I can celebrate this mother’s day more than any before. Love you mom. xo.

Mission Accomplished

After 5 months and 3 weeks, days of sitting around, nights of the TV on, home-cooked meals, dinners out, dancing, karaoke, job interviews, one cross-country drive and apartment hunting – my sister is officially moved to LA.

Today she packed her stuff into our cars and we drove to her new apartment. We unloaded the random boxes and suitcases in 20min, since she really only has a car’s worth of stuff here right now. Then we headed off to a brewery with Carter in tow.

Not a bad way to spend a Saturday at all.

And with that all said, I want to say congrats to her for making it all happen. Thank you to H for allowing my sister to stay with us for such a long time. And yay for me for making it through.

Winning all around.

Happy Birthday To Me

Another year gone by. Another ache to create. Another transition from the depths to the light.

I am not buzzing with words this evening. I wrote this morning, ran my 3 miles with the dog, and worked most of the day. My one meeting was odd, random phone calls came in, I keep pushing through work tasks but nothing seems to get done. Arrived home to dinner cooked by my sister, who also baked me a caramel cake, and a bottle of wine from my husband.

I’m now running 4 loads of laundry.

This is life – and while I panic that I am not doing enough of whatever is it I’m supposed to be doing, all is well. About 25 texts messages came in from people wishing me a happy day, my mom created a slideshow for me (very This Is Your Life), and a crazy amount of Facebook posts came on – I am loved.

And I have to say – after the funk I’ve been in for weeks – it’s nice to know people care. Really leaning on the community support.

It’s good to note this from Cafe Astrology for If Today If Your Birthday

2013 is a Number Two year for you. Ruled by the Moon. This is a year of potential companionship. It is a quiet, gentle, and mostly harmonious year that is less active than other years. Instead, you are more responsive to the needs of others. If you are patient and open yourself up in a gentle manner, you will attract both things and people. This is an excellent year in which to build and develop for the future. Advice – be patient, be receptive, enjoy the peace, collect.

Sounds about right. Fits right in with my 2013 One Little Word word – Becoming.  My mom ordered me a OLW necklace from Liz Lamoreux (my word for 2012 will be hammered into it – “trust” – and I bought myself a feather necklace from the same shop. I have a stylist coming on Saturday to rip through my closet. Tomorrow should be an easy work day.

Happy birthday to me… xo


So THAT Happened…

Let’s really dig into what January means to me…WORK.CHAOS.

I oversee an alumni community. This community gathers together every year for an annual brunch. Previous years the numbers fluctuated from 200 to 400 people, the RSVPs are volatile and the melt-rate is somewhere between 33-50%.

Did I mention it’s at a super fancy hotel and we’re shelling out $60+ per head to feed people scrambled eggs? Oh, and the president of the college speaks. Apsht.

Now, this was all fine and dandy when we ran 3 events total in a calendar year. Three. But in 2012 I ran 18 – EIGHTEEN – alumni events, only ONE of which was this brunch.

Y’know, just to give you a small idea of the possible pressures associated with this event.

And then let’s tack on another mixer in another city 40 miles away. One in which last year I planned for 50 people and 75 show up. This year I planned for 75 people and 130 showed up. Of course.

Now, as an event planner, these are all good problems to have. Standing room only, running out of food, more mingling than you can shake a long-stemmed wine glass at, but that’s not all…

This year I had the added juggling of an event my colleague was in charge of PLUS another colleague in town for more small meetings (my fav).

So with all of that said – I’m posting this to CELEBRATE my awesomeness this month. That’s right. 5 events in 4 days. 8 events in 17 days. Over 400 people. A speaking portion. Lots of driving, schmoozing and hard work. So yeah. THAT happened.

Round of applause.

Lovingly borrowed idea from Alexandra Frazen. Go ahead and share your awesomeness.

Ebb and Flow

If there is an ebb & flow to life, today is an ebb…

That’s what I wrote as a caption to the above on Instagram today. Like I mentioned yesterday, I am experiencing event hangover and PMS. Frustrations with not feeling more awesome, sooner.

I am proud to say that I talked myself through it and here’s what helped (for future-me reference):

  • seeing my therapist – celebrating my work life (more below)
  • going for a fun RUN (Freudian slip? It wasn’t that fun hah)
  • having lunch with someone and good conversation
  • getting something accomplished for work
  • allowing myself to cancel another meeting (personal)
  • ordering pizza and staying in tonight

I also realized today that, until I was going over all the craziness of last week with my therapist, I didn’t take time to talk the whole experience through and really celebrate what I’d accomplished. So I’m keeping that in mind the next few days.

I want to revel in what I did while I also get some rest. Y’know – ebb and flow.


Our First Christmas In LA

It was our first Christmas in LA and as newly weds. I didn’t take a ton of photos. Total regret since this is the first time I hosted Christmas for my siblings, and that we’re all 3 away from home… we didn’t take one photo together #fail

At least we have a few pictures and lots of memories.

We were up at 5am to video chat with H’s family and then checked in on my parents. Despite the lack of sleep and three bottles of wine in twenty-four hours, it was a relaxing day. Just lovely. My mom made sure we had a ton of gifts (three boxes arrived on Christmas Eve) and my sister cooked all day Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. The photo above is the amazing lasagna she made for Christmas Eve and the cheesecake she made for Christmas dessert (best one I’ve ever had). A friend came over too – we walked, napped, talked, played cards and felt as festive as could be.

Last year I wrote about the holidays being a blur and wishing for “tens days home with H and our dog” and here we are… I’m loving every minute of it. Sending you lots of cheer as 2012 winds down through the next day or so. Love xo

Merry Christmas

Twas our first Chrismas in LA. And what a wonderful Christmas it was. Lots of love to you and yours. ❤

With Love