Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Tag: dolphins

2 of 52, Year of Ocean

“Been so long since I’ve seen the ocean… guess I should” 
Counting Crows

Wasn’t in a great mood when I woke up. Moon in Pisces, bad dreams, last day of vacation. Blank mind, but anxiety. How does that happen?

Took myself down to the beach path for a 2m run alone. H had Carter. I decided to run super fast, see how quickly I could run a mile. Averaged under 10min/mile which is pretty awesome for me.

On my way back I walked out to the waves… and dolphins. Jumping in the breaks, sliding through the water, playing with the birds. As I watched them, I had an inkling, a tiny voice say: go in.

I haven’t really swam in the ocean since I was rescued by a life guard a few summers ago (that’s a story for a different time). But I know that Lisa Field-Elliot swims during the cold months and there was already a woman walking hip-deep in the tide, and those two surfers waiting patiently…

So I pulled my top off and placed my phone and keys in my hat and waded in.

It wasn’t as cold as I expected. In fact, it felt glorious. The water sucked and cradled my legs, the sounds hummed in my ears, the shock of wind against my wet skin gave me goose-bumps, and the dolphins continued to jump and play in the distance.

“How beautiful” I kept saying to myself.

My mind cleared, my body calmed, my soul was light.

It was exactly what I needed even though I didn’t know it.

After the dolphins moved on, I dunked my body twice in the sandy, churning water (though I couldn’t bring myself to put my head under – it wasn’t that warm). I let the waves push me back onto shore and walked back to my things, honoring the moon in Pisces, my one little word flow and myself.

**See all of my Year of Ocean

~written January 5th 2014

1 of 52, Year of Ocean

“She walks along the edge of where the ocean meets the land
Just like she’s walking on a wire in the circus
She parks her car outside of my house, takes her clothes off
Says she’s close to understanding Jesus
She knows she’s just a little misunderstood
She has trouble acting normal when she’s nervous”
~ Counting Crows

Sunset Beach, Malibu – a week ago.

That Counting Crows song haunting me for a few weeks now. Love that record, perfect for winter. H and I went to the beach after spending a few vacation hours working. I wasn’t watching the waves though – I was searching the breaks for dolphins.

We spotted a small pod, maybe 3 to 5 of them, their gray fins lifting out of the waterline the way Ferris wheel cars sail up into the air and glide back down. Watched them move up the coast until they were small specks. H said his colleague saw a whale the other day.

Wow. To see a whale…

We only stayed for an hour, but it was worth it. I’m thinking it’s going to be worth it every time.

**See all of my Year of Ocean