Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Tag: feathers

#30daysofdresses – day 26

In where I repeat a dress…

It was bound to happen. I do have over 30 dresses, so my original intentions were good, but man oh man, if this isn’t difficult. Or at least annoying.

I’m realizing that this project would’ve suited me better if I had shared an outfit every day for a month – using it as a jumping off point for my own creativity. Like Sherry at Simply Celebrate, who dresses in the most unique and fun ways, I want my clothes to reflect me and how I feel.

Should’ve started with the feeling of each day and share why the clothes I picked served that purpose.

Instead, I decided to start with the challenge of wearing (almost) all of my dresses and I was pretty excited at the start. Now, I’m pretty excited for this challenge to be over. Haha.

So this outfit felt more creative / liberating since I picked it today based on how I was feeling. It’s one of my newest dresses, I love it so much, and I decided to wear it totally different from day 10.

Boots, jacket, feathery earrings = Total warrior princess.—Dress and jacket are Forever21. Boots are Clarks. Earrings are Kohls.


I’m taking things slow. Focusing on me. Allowing creativity to come through.

How are you? xo

In Like A Lion

The past week’s been a blur. H ran the talent show at the school he teaches at – this puts him out of the house for 5 days straight. I finally got some time alone at home to read, take a bath, clean, food shop and just be in quiet.

I ran 6.7m alone – it felt awesome.

Met a friend for tea last week and then another today.

Received all of my birthday gifts in the mail including this print by Mae Chevrette , and two necklaces by Liz Lamoreux (above) and this one which has my OLW from 2012 on the front and “29” on the back (thanks mom!)

I’ve done a bunch of work at the office, ran an event for songwriters, attended a popshow and stayed out late at a dinner party in the Hollywood Hills.

And today I felt so pms-y, tired and cranky. I didn’t go for a run, and even though I answered emails, work felt like a major chore. I ended up taking a bath and a nap after work. It’s amazing what a little self-care can do.

Looking back, I can see I was super busy, energetic and social… no wonder I felt so out of it today. And I was going to refuse myself that care until a friend said that it was my ego saying I couldn’t take time for myself. That I needed to allow myself (not kidding) what I was asking for – time out, rest and a hot bath.

As I write this, I feel better. Not 100%. Not driven to get to the office tomorrow and tear work to shreds or anything, but at least not as low as I was dipping.

I know what I need to be happy. And I forget that. And so, I keep jotting down my notes here, to leave markers for myself as reminders. I am my own best advocate, support and love.

And you are yours. xo

Sundays Are For (Week 14)

Christmas decorations, a long walk with H and the pup, coffee and eggs at home. I tried to create a few ornaments myself today – mostly it felt like a failure, but now with the trim trimmed, I am happier with the results. We bought more lights and finished the tree, though we still need a tree skirt. This whole “Christmas” thing is much more stressful as an adult when you don’t have your family’s supplies and traditions at the ready.

I spent most of the day ordering and organizing gifts. I’m frustrated. I spent so much time and I still have so much more to do – for only 14 people or so. And now we’re up late because H is working on a final paper for his first finished semester of grad school. Just thought I’d pop in and put a quick post up. Even though it’ll be a packed few days, and I have lots to do, I’m excited it’s the last week before the holidays.

How was your weekend? xo

ps – the feathers are a hat tip to the magic of this year

Keep On Trusting

Today started out well enough. I took a long walk with the doggie, got ready for work, and popped over to therapy. The session went well, circling the topic of using the GTD process to keep on top of the tasks piling up.

For instance, “send out e-vites for three different events” felt like the most urgent task(s), the ones I wanted to panic about. But, I couldn’t move forward on these “next actions” until I received the proofed HTML files back from another department and pulled a few mailing lists (two of which I couldn’t do myself). So while these tasks felt almost desperate, I couldn’t actually do anything about them…yet.

Then the internet went down. Oy vey. Without the internet there is very little work I can do.

So, I didn’t. I wrote and read some, had lunch and waited around for my 3pm meeting. Having an iPhone helps – I checked email and responded to things as I could. Then I made my way to my meeting (at a mansion in Brentwood aka soooooo Hollywood) and drove back home.

And for some reason today, all of this was perfectly OK. I wasn’t frustrated that I couldn’t do work, wasn’t panicking about the urgent tasks and didn’t feel the need to nap, cry, hide or yell. I was 100% cool with it all.

It was an easy day to accept things as they are. I understand this is not always the case (revisit my almost month of blues here). It started from a good frame of mind but I felt my confidence high, believed in trusting, and reassured myself things work out.

When I realized the moon would go void of course at 2:40pm I tested a theory. I thought once the moon changed the internet would come back on, the files would be emailed and I would bat out all of that work in less than an hour. Of course, launching event promotion may not be the best task for moon VOC but I’ve found it’s a super productive time for me to finish up tasks.

Crazily enough, I was right. Moon VOC, trusting in my abilities and believing things will work out.


{feathers still find me}



The Feathers, They Keep Finding Me

You can read more about me & feathers here.

Feathers & Serendipity

For the past few weeks since I’ve started my new approach to life I’ve spotted feathers in my neighborhood. I don’t know if it’s a seasonal issue for birds or what, but I’ve started taking them as signs of universal support for my actions.

It wasn’t until last night, though, that I actually picked one up and brought it home. I’d actually picked up two, but one was lost from my pocket. This morning, as I contemplated exercising before I checked email, to make sure I put my needs first, the large feather above appeared on the side of the road. If I’d been biking instead of walking my bike up a hill, I would’ve missed it. It felt magical.

I started wondering what this could mean. And then just this morning, I came across the following in “This I Know: Notes on Unravelling The Heart” by Susannah Conway:

And then there were the feathers… From then on feathers were the way I knew he was near me – I’d be thinking about him in the street, and next moment a feather would appear on my path. I’d find them in the house – little white ones between the pages of my books, a gray feather in the bathroom. It was strange and comforting… pg 35-36

She also wrote about her trip to New York in the same chapter:

Snapping my way through the kaleidoscope of restaurants, I found a bookshop with a poster of Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe displayed in the window. Lured inside – who can resist a new bookshop? – I browsed for an hour, thumbing books about the city and the books about writing…pg 44

I am currently reading “Just Kids” by Patti Smith about her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe.

So many little connections, and I take them all as signs I’m on the right path.