Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Tag: health

Energies All Around

My energy levels have sky-rocketed the past two weeks. Ideas come, projects are moving forward, exercise is delightful. While I’m off-the-walls H and Carter Cash seem to be in more down / restful mood. Such is life holed up with other beings. All of that being a-buzz seemed to be the wrong feeling to get any writing done, which in retrospect I know is a silly excuse, but at the time my focus was elsewhere. And that’s OK. Here’s to getting back on the horse this week.

Happy Saturday xo

Someone Didn’t Feel Well This Week

Someone wasn’t feeling well this week. He seems to be getting better.
The vet assured us he’s fine.

It’s a full moon tonight. Hope you’re all feeling well this weekend –
sending out good vibes.

Dentist (How to Lose a Customer)

I am switching dentists.

This is not a rant about health insurance or patient care or really anything but how to lose a loyal customer. Me. Someone who will return to you day in and day out if I feel you appreciate my business and provide good service. Because I like good service. And I don’t like change.

I’ve been seeing this dentist for at least 3 years now. To put it frankly, she’s an alarmist. She’s knows my medical history (which includes not only HPV but leukemia) and uses it to scare me. The first time it was gingivitis, which can be a sign of heart disease in women. After upgrading my toothbrush, flossing daily and working to cut the sugar in my tea, it was a cosmetic issue. Maybe I’d need my wisdom teeth out, they were pushing my front teeth out of the bone, and surely Invisalign was the next step.

No thanks.

Then in January it was a tiny skin tag on my gum. Hadn’t I noticed it? Growths like that could be a sign of… ready? CANCER. She played the card, and she played well.

It’s 100% my fault I went along with it. I figured removing the little flap couldn’t be a bad thing and at that point, sure, let’s biopsy it, because if I have a health trigger, it’s going to be cancer.

Tonight, yet another bill was on the kitchen table. Apparently, I still owe money. $298 to be exact, bringing the whopping total cost since January to $1072. Over one thousand dollars. In less than 6 months. Where the fuck am I even getting this money?? To make matters worse, this is for preventative care. For possible issues. This isn’t even to whiten my teeth for my wedding, fix a crooked tooth or fill a goddamn cavity.

I’m over it.

One of my best friends referred me to said dentist at least 3 years ago. Within 6 months of my first visit, my friend changed to a new dentist, for exactly the reasons I’m stating above. I should’ve listened to her.

But you don’t have to take my word for it… Yelp.

Tweet Tuesday – Julia Cameron

While this isn’t the most profound quote I could pull from the great Julia Cameron, it was 100% applicable to my recent  health. I wasn’t feeling so hot in general. Allergies or a head cold were wrecking my sinuses, I’d traveled a bunch (germs, germs germs) and I felt just blah. But I’ve been working, through accepting where I’m at and coming up with a few new realizations, to hone in on what’s really going on.

First of all, I decided that I need to ask myself often “What’s the best use of my time and energy?” and measure my answers against what will really feed my soul. This includes new habits of self-care, quiet time and lots of reading. Cooking, cleaning and chores are only useful when they feel replenishing, not depleting. But there seemed to be something missing still. No matter how much I rested, I still felt resentful. I still had a head cold.

And then, I felt in my bones that creating is the answer.

So when I sat down to blog the other night – and have continued to add creative fun into the past few days – I found I have more energy and less physical pain. Thinking I’ve brought myself back into alignment. And wouldn’t that just be a freakin’ delight for Julia?

Mind Body Integration

This prompt is beyond me. While I’ve been working a lot of my mind this year  (how I see the world, how I react to the world, what my projections are) and I’m aware of my body (I work out, I eat well, I notice my hormone fluctuations) combining the two hasn’t been a priority. This prompt brings to light this disconnect.

I’m aware that my thoughts affect my mood and how I feel within my body. I’m aware that my mood is elevated by exercise. Anything deeper than that – an actual integration – is not a place I’ve reached yet.

Lately I’ve had a problem with eating a lot at each sitting. It’s not that I eat beyond feeling full but that I want to keep eating all the time. I crave sugar and salt. I do not view food as fuel for my high-energy body. I can eat meat or processed foods without any awareness of where it came from.

There’s a disconnect.

So, while I’m not able to respond to this prompt directly, I can say that it’s raising an important red flag for me. Something to focus on and think about for 2011. More yoga, more water, more fruits and vegetables, and more sleep. More relaxation, more walks, more hugs, more beach, and more meditation. And to respect my body and pay it as much attention as I’ve been paying my mind.

I may feel that disconnect or I may be unaware of it, but it’s tied to self-abusive, feelings of unworthiness. Awareness is the first step.