Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Tag: home

The Long Paw

Exhausted and excited to host Christmas in our apartment this year – our first Christmas in Los Angeles, without our families, no flying back to the East Coast. Feeling tired just thinking about. Hoping to sneak in a nap with this guy – what a little snoozer.

Busy Travel Year

2012 was a busy travel year.

Boston. Long Island. Nashville. Maui & Kauai for our honeymoon. Sequoia. San Diego. Las Vegas. San Fran. Newport Beach.

And I returned home again and again and again.

I can see the ebb and flow of the year, my energy and moods. For 2013 I hope to find a rhythm and lean on my own rituals and routine.

Where did you venture into the world this year? xo

This Grateful Season – These Two (Sundays Are For – Week 12)

Oh boy, I would be remiss if I didn’t post about these two multiple times during This Grateful Season. My awesome husband and my perfect dog. Also bringing back the Sundays Are For posts. It’s been a long while since H and I were both home for an entire weekend. Add to it Veterans Day (thank you veterans for your service, for real!) we have a 3-day weekend, which is just loveliness.

H and I have been up and down lately. Mostly, he’s not home because of work and grad school and that leaves me plenty of time to be frustrated, alone and sad. Not to mention the recovery from the crazy work and travel schedule is taking much longer than I hoped (thank you Mercury Retrograde, not for real). And it turns out, I really care about quality time, both for myself and with H. So the past few days I’ve made an effort to take some time for myself and H’s made an effort to spend time with me. It’s helping immensely.

I’ve needed so much sleep lately. Usually I like 7.5 hrs per night, but lately I’m cruising through 10hrs. It makes me feel like a lazy-crap person but I’ve decided to just go with it. Eventually I’ve gotta get the energy back, right? Replenishing the reserves or something…? Besides the sleeping, I’m spending a good bit of time on the couch with H and my sister, at the park with the dog and generally lying low.

How are things by you? xo

For more weekend pictures of beautifulness, visit A Year of Sundays.

 

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween!

Took this with my Olloclip a few weeks ago. We had some pretty crazy spiders in the house. Caught this one in a drinking glass and kept it for a bit to photograph. Released it outside afterwards. Because of all my traveling, I’m not celebrating Halloween this year, but that’s OK by me. I’m so tired, I never want to leave my house. This happens when I’m away from awhile. Hoping I’m back in balance by next week.

Until then, I’m drinking honey jack and cokes with my sister, watching Walking Dead and nesting in. It’s dark early now. The gray fog rolls in each morning. It was so hot there for so long I thought we’d never get back to my favorite coastal LA weather. But here we are – those season changes like a flip of a switch.

Returning Home

This is what returning home after 5+ weeks of travel, events, flights and friends looks like:

  • The dog still has fleas
  • I can’t seem to get up before 8am
  • I’ve gone into nesting mode – cleaning my desk (above), fixing a towel rack, hanging frames on the wall, cleaning and cleaning some more, taking things out of the house, and making room
  • Set up the autumn decorations just in time for Halloween
  • My sister is here and crashing in our spare room (the office / music space) indefinitely
  • H is so busy with school that I’ve seen awake him for less than 6hrs since I got back Sunday
  • I unpacked but there are piles of laundry
  • The bathroom is dirty from giving the dog a bath and our daily use
  • I desperately need something new to read
  • My body hurts from my San Fran trip and my epic biking of the city (hopefully its own post soon)
  • My brain is shot from too many events, too much email, and way too much socializing
  • Digital photos are scattered and yet to be cataloged and shared
  • I have a burst of excited energy in the morning while I write, which quickly dissipates after exercising the dog
  • I’m taking the space I need even though I panic every few hours that I’m not doing enough

How’s your week going? I’ve opted out of Halloween this year, but my friends had some sweet costumes: the house from “Up”, Popeye and Olive Oyl, sexy Edward Scissorhands, a 70s couple (Afros included) and Where’s Waldo.

 

 

Sundays Are For (Week 10)

 

 

Being back home is wonderful, but it also brings back the sludge from 2 weeks ago. Traveling, running from work meeting to meeting, and seeing friends kept my mind engaged and my anxiety to a minimum. Friday I was too jet-lagged to comprehend emotional frustrations, but they came barreling back Saturday morning.

Yesterday I cleaned the bathroom in a rage, hair stuck out from steam,looking like a crazy lunatic. Our apartment feels more and more filthy, disorganized and overheated the longer we stay here. I desperately want new carpet and to repaint the living room just to freshen things up, but H never pulled the trigger on any of it in August when we had the time.

Writing morning pages is such a help. I tried to at least acknowledge these issues and then work through them. What matras do I need? What self-care am I aching for? What will truly make me feel better?

It’s a line of broken promises to myself again. I see that. So today I did yoga, restocked the fridge and finally put contact paper down in our kitchen cabinets. I know this seems like the silliest thing, but I’m the one in control of myself & these projects I think I want to do – so I’m the one who actually can do them.

I still have to clean the kitchen – maybe that won’t happen until tomorrow night, but each layer of contact paper that went down made me feel better and better. I’m still struggling with these moods and learning to let them pass through me as opposed to stooping and analyzing them for too long. Can’t say I’m looking forward to going back to work tomorrow (especially with a forecast of 102* at my office) but I feel I made a small bit of progress today. That’s all I can ask for, I guess.

What did your Sunday teach you…? xo

Sundays Are For (Week 9)

Lots of traveling this weekend, but if I did one thing right, it was eating pretty well. The above does not support this statement. It was one of my indulgences. I can’t go home to NY and not eat a bagel. And this one was incredible.

Today was for hitting the bagel store with my family before the long drive into JFK. It was about lox cream cheese and Early Grey tea. It was about airplanes and smiling and enjoying being on my own. It was an evening walk down Newbury Street in Boston, eating a solo dinner at the bar, reading my Kindle.

It was about feeling chilly, about space, decompressing, and resting in motion.

Tomorrow starts off a busy work week in Boston. For my own sanity, I hope to have time to post.

What was your Sunday for? xo

Happy To Be Home

After work I napped on the couch while women’s Olympic soccer was on in the background. Then the dog climbed up and cuddled with me while H played video games.

The moon’s been void of course for long stretches during this week and I’ve taken full advantage – slowing down, lolling online, organizing, and reading. Mostly, taking it easy and doing nothing.

This evening was more of the same. H cooked dinner and I walked Carter Cash. It was so lovely to be out in our neighborhood, the sunlight fading, the air slightly chilly. I love living here and I’m so happy to be back home.

Back Home

We’re finally home.

After 20 days away, 6 plane rides, 5 different location stays, 4 rental cars, sunburn, drinking, friends, alone time and love, our wedding and honeymoon are over.

Relief outweighs sadness. Though going back to work tomorrow will be tough, I am looking forward to gaining back a routine that is our life *not* tinged with the underlying panic / excitement of wedding planning. Where those extra hours in a week are there for movie watching, grilling, friends, reading, organizing and exploring our city.

This morning we stumbled off the red-eye, got our bags, taxied it to our friend’s house to pick up the dog, unpacked and ran laundry, gave the dog a bath, went out for breakfast, napped, watched TV, read a book, and food shopped. After frozen pizza and a beer, an organizing whim took me over and I reorganized all of our toiletries and the medicine cabinet. I want to go through my clothing next, but I’d say that’s enough for one day back.

I would like to write about the wedding in all its fabulousness, the ups and downs of the honeymoon, my plans for August, our bigger plans for the future, whatever feelings are coming up about being married and a wife (seriously, eek) and what I’ve been reading and plan to read before September.

But right now, we’re all exhausted.

 

Looking forward to a cuddle and nice long night of sleep in my own bed this evening.