Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Tag: manifesto

Almost Silhouette

Taking a silhouette photo is on my Summer Manifesto and I have yet to take one. But tonight the light was so delicious, and our little walk was so relaxing, I thought it would be fun to try. Self-timer app + camera phone + sun setting = the above. Not exactly a silhouette but still a fun shot.

It actually sums up the two-some we are these days. With H back to school and my busy schedule, it really was freakin’ golden to have some quiet time alone this evening. I am so thankful for my four-legged companion.

On that note – I want to send love to Elizabeth of Squam. Her beloved dog Henry, whom I adored from afar via Instagram, left this world last weekend. Considering I didn’t know him (and don’t actually know her), her IG post of his failing health had me bursting into tears. It’s amazing how the internet makes the world so small. I thought this dog was the most beautiful, regal prince ever (he could be Carter’s dad, no?) and I really felt like one day I would get to meet him. Sadly, that won’t be happening. Hoping he’s with her in spirit.

Even on tough days like the past few, I relish the time I have with my little nugget – walking, cuddling, him following me around, waiting patiently for me in his crate, and how he’ll look up from a nap to check on where I’m moving around to in the apartment, then stretch his little toes, give a big old sigh, and fall back asleep.




This is not a great photo, but it captures our oh-so-close success of grilling a good steak. H is getting better and better, though he’ll tell you since we change our approach every single time, there’s no comparing each steak to the next. And I mean, we’ve probably grilled less than 10 in 3 summers. Still – we hardly eat red meat, but being able to grill some makes it so much easier.

These were NY-style strip steaks from Trader Joe’s. I saved half of mine for a salad the next day. Awesomeness.

Checking another item off the Summer Manifesto.

River Trip

That last photo pretty much sums up our weekend trip to the Salt River in Arizona. It also explains the dirty footprints on the ceiling of my sister’s car.

I like to think of this as the trip where I make up for not attending traditional college, but the truth is, this time I chose the adult decision left and right.

Why stay up drinking on the Saturday evening of a group trip when you can be passed out sober on an air mattress at 11pm? Why order an alcoholic beverage when you can have ice water? Why eat a whopper at Burger King when you can order a (very lame) salad?

It’s probably a good thing I didn’t go to college where people major in day-drinking.

Still, this trip was rad.

It was one of those weekends where I’m so happy we have a cool group of friends. Friends that do things like annual trips. This trip started with a 6hr car ride, and ended with the same. In between we celebrated a friend’s dirty 30, played Cards Against Humanity (a card game for horrible people) and had cherry bomb Jello-shots. We sweated it out in the Arizona heat – Hello 105 degrees – listened to Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me and country music, pasted Avengers and Disney fake tattoos on our arms and ended the night at Metal Head, an 80s rock cover band.

The best part was the insane laughter during Cards Against Humanity. The worst part was the bruise on my knee (see photo 4 above). The thing I thought about the most was being in the moment and how I’m getting too old for this kind of partying. I’m hoping a group trip to Sequoia this fall is more relaxing, though this weekend was by far the calmest of the three river trips I’ve attended.

I’m thankful for my sister being able to join us, H covering for me when I went to bed early, and friends who are organized. Who wouldn’t want a Dunkin’ Donuts stop??

There’s also nothing better than cold beer when you’re under a hot sun. Checking this weekend off the Summer Manifesto.

Sundays Are For (Week 26)

A beach day, in Hermosa, with friends. Metered parking and paid lots. H willing to drive around to find parking. Missing the traffic on both ends, somehow. Citron vodka out of a flask, daiquiri frozen packets and beer. Lots of random food. T had apples. G had snickerdoodles we all thought was cake mix in the box. Tossing the frisbee and our feet burning in the white-hot sand. The breeze off the ocean and calm. The waves crashing on the shore. My sister dancing on me with her saggy bathing suit bottom. Hysterical laughter. And iPhone sitting in a Solo cup, acting as a speaker. Standing in the water, letting the waves rush around our ankles, our feet sinking into the squishy sand as S spoke about her life. We needed a catch up.

Dipping my head under the waves, the feeling of being cleansed by the cold salt water. Summer.

The camaraderie, the community feeling about the day. Check another item off my Summer Manifesto. I love my friends so much. Each person’s unique way of being, their talents and voices. I am one of my best selves when around them. My body relaxes, my mind quiets down. They’ve got it all covered and just need me to be, like what the ocean asks of me. To just be there with it, the rolling in and out, the tide changing, the pelicans sailing on their lofty wings.


Check another item off the Summer Manifesto!

A few weekends ago, I was a tad dipsy. And in that right mind, suggested to a friend that he have us over for s’mores.

He took the bait.

So this weekend, I found myself eating this delicious concoction around a fire-pit. Of course, these weren’t just regular ol’  snacks. These were dark chocolate and extra large marshmallow s’mores.

Sums up summer right there.


The 4th



Happy 4th of July weekend.

The 4th holds many memories for me: driving from Long Island to Philly in traffic after our engagement party. That could’ve been the year H’s grandpa passed away suddenly. Another visit to Philly had us laid out on blankets in a park, in walking distance from his other grandparents’ home, watching fireworks. One year H went back East and I stayed here at this same apartment, walking miles with a friend to see the same firework show I saw tonight. Some years we didn’t see fireworks at all, like when my cousin got married and it was pouring rain. Or last year before our wedding, when the fireworks were scheduled for a day that wasn’t the 4th.

Back in high school, we’d all go down to Pirate’s Cove and camp… dragging supplies of grills, tents, beer and food in backpacks and via little boats. Walking, we had to beat the tide or else we wouldn’t be able to get around. I remember someone had a portable grill with a griddle and was frying eggs the next morning. I don’t remember sleeping, ever. It seems like a dream now, those nights. Walking the dunes, making out with a boyfriend, peeing in bushes…

There was one 4th that I fell hard for a guy that was all wrong for me. It’s so long ago, sometimes it feels like it didn’t happen. But it did.

And yesterday was the most normal July 4th I’ve had in forever. We slept in, took the dog to the park. We went out to our favorite breakfast place and ate pancakes and french toast and sipped coffee that was mostly creamer. We cleaned up and packed up and drove to the beach. Somehow received a parking miracle and found a patch of sand. It was crowded. We met my sister and some friends, but for a while, it was just H and I. He surfed. I read a book. Friends arrived and there were drinks. We left to go back home to feed and walk the dog, shower, and then biked back. It felt so good to be flying through the streets on my cruiser. We hung out in a bar, walked a ways to the firework show, and made it just in time.

They were huge, and magical, and loud. H kissed me with excitement. At the prettiest ones, the big golden ones that seem to shimmer and wave into the darkness, I would hear a small sound come out of my mouth – an actual “ohh” or “ahh”. They are so wonderful. I wish we had them at other times in the year. Checking that off the summer manifesto list.

I love fireworks. And I love July for all of its summer loving.


Wrote this very early this morning, up with a sick pup. It’s working out though, since I’m not very tired anyways. 

Hello July

I know I posted this picture in my June “day in the life” but I just To me it’s all summertime and family time and togetherness. Just LURVE all around.

So welcome July!

It’s gonna be a busy month with traveling, vistors, work and living. But that’s what we’re here to do, right? Live. And I’ve got my summer manifesto to guide me.

Hope your month is looking as deliciously magical as mine. Let me know how it’s going in the comments. Would *love* to hear from you. xo


2013 Summer Manifesto

At first I thought, “No way. Not another list with more pressure added to having the perfect experience, trying to live my days like the unachievable images on the interwebs.” Ahem, Pinterest.

But then I got to thinking. We’re young, married, renters, child-free with good incomes — we could have the best.summer.ever. Minus the pressure. We could set some seriously fun intentions for the next 2 months.

So I wrote up a sort of wish list. It ended up being exactly 30 items, though some things (like “revamp the apartment”) will have multiple steps. Even if I do 10 of these things, it’ll make for some awesome memories.

Kind of already got a head start when my parents were in town. Mom took me out for a mani/pedi and we spent a good chunk of time Newport Beach, welcoming in summer. So we’ll see how the rest goes. Thinking it’s gonna make for a pretty sweet collage come September.

See the sunrise
See the sun (set at the ocean)
Eat at Malibu Seafood
Read 4 books, 1 LA noir
(Currently reading 3… World War Z, The Untethered Soul & Made To Stick)
Take a weekend trip (Visit L&T 8.16.13)
Do a LONG hike (8/2/13 Probably only 3m, but it was TOUGH)
Eat a perfect peach (8.8.13 delicious sliced peach in a fruit salad during a work mtg)
Dive into Ali Edward’s Hello Story (7/24/13)
Hang some plants
Participate in August Break (Started 8/1/13)
Play Cards Against Humanity (7/27/13)
Take a silhouette photo
Get a mani/pedi (6/20/13)
AZ River Trip (7/27/13)
Swim in a pool (6/30/13)
Spend the entire day on the beach (6/15/13)
Bike to Playa Del Rey (walked this path on 7/7/13 but still want to bike)
Run – a trail, the beach path, a 5 miler
Create a feather wall
Finish up my digital scrapbooking class
Write a song and record it (with H)
Eat a tomato from our plant (7/22/13)
DTLA art walk
Make and eat s’mores (7/6/13)
See fireworks (7/4/13)
Celebrate our one year (Weekend of 7/5/13)
Take a day off just for me
See an action movie (We binge-watched 70+ episodes of Battlestar Galactic – this so counts)
Grill a perfect steak (8.11.13)
Revamp the apartment

*Inspired by Ali Edwards and Kelly Purkey
*If you’ve written up a summer manifesto, please share it with me. I love reading them. xo

Since this summer has been so awesome, I wanted to add a few items that weren’t on the list. Most are from our trip to Philly – and I plan on a better recap post – but adding these things here for now: kayaked for the first time, climbed a rock wall for the first time, swam and jumped at Dutch Springs, saw a Phillies game, ate a cheesesteak, visited Love Park, ran the Philly Art Museum stairs (like Rocky), saw a concert with friends, had my sister babysit Carter, clean our apartment and buy us flowers, started organizing the wedding planning scrapbook, H had our wedding photos printed up, and ate at Wawa (3x – ugh).