Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Tag: relaxing

Recent Obsessions

In my attempt to do more of what I need (and living the SoCal life), I’ve been trying to relax this week. It’s a 3-day week due to July 4th tomorrow (yay vacation!).

I started Battlestar Galactica on a whim. I know, right? Nerd. But it was just what I was looking for. Action, suspense, good story-lines and pretty good acting… like reading a fantasy novel. Great break from everything lately. Plus, H is into it, so we’ve watched 8 in the past 3 days. Sshh – don’t tell. #nojudging

Then today, I stumbled upon Rhonna Farrer‘s new app and I am obsessed. It’s tiny digital scrap-booking. I’ve already made two and I have ideas for more. Hoping I can add it on the iPad, since my iPhone screen feels too small to really get into the app. And there are sooooo many options. I love it. Love, love, love.

And thirdly, avocado, kiwi, cucumber salad. Delish. I basically made this up from a homemade version I tasted at a bridal shower a few weeks ago and this recipe online. I went for fresh vs strong, so I added cucumber, left out all of the spicy stuff, and added ginger. Freakin’ yum.

So that’s what I’m obsessing about, here on the even of the 4th of July. How’s your week going? xo

Road Trippin’

We’re living it up in the Sequoias this weekend. In 7 hrs we drove, ate dinner in Jenny’s Cafe in Delano, CA, sat in traffic in the LA rain, and food shopped. Unpacked and sipping wine. We’re right in Three Rivers, CA and plan on hanging out at the river, doing yoga, walking and relaxing all day tomorrow before more friends arrive.


Movies, Music and Moon

We’ve already had quite a relaxing Saturday. Slept in, took the pup to a dog park and walked through a gorgeous little neighborhood. We went to bed late (2am) as we met friends to see Taken 2 and eat dessert at Cheesecake Factory. Between the wine I had with dinner and the chocolate raspberry truffle cheesecake, I’m in a slight sugar hangover this morning.

The moon’s void of course and I’m trying to follow suit. Hanging out, reading, not worried about accomplishing anything. It’s a  3-day weekend for me and I left my laptop at work to avoid pressuring myself into doing work (because I never do – I just drive myself mentally crazy about how I should – though the laptop always stays in my bag).

Tonight we are seeing the Black Keys play Staples Center. Tegan and Sara are opening. My head may explode.

{The picture above was taken the same day at this one. Happy weekend!}

Sundays Are For (Week 7)



I woke up a bit cranky. The heat didn’t help. H suggested I bike Carter to the grocery store while he cleaned the downstairs. Not going to argue with that.

So Carter and I trotted over in the heat, lugging $60 worth of food back to the house, to be greeted by cold, clean-smelling air.

H starts grad school tomorrow and we’re finally back in the full swing of his teaching job. Life is calm for me but lots of traveling coming up. I’m trying my best to tick things off the list while I’m home.

Opened up Gmail’s keyboard shortcuts and processed 200+ emails per my digital detox plan. It didn’t feel as productive as I hoped, but the overwhelm of opening my email is less. Vacuumed the dog’s crate – he’s suffering from fleas. Started a new book (The Night Circus). Flipped through our wedding photos again. Watched two football games for teams I don’t care for. Tied up a few hanging threads as well. Actually, I’m not really sure where the day went…

September used to be a month of new beginnings – that’s what life on a school schedule will do to you. I guess it’s still like that for us now as working adults, but it feel more like a transition than a fresh start.

Hoping I can stay grounded as the next 8 weeks fly by. Happy to report trusting my gut is still working.

Room – A Novel

I love having time alone, especially time to read.

I just finished Room by Emma Donoghue. It was awesome. Finished it in about 5 days. (Spoilers below)

It’s Jack’s story. He’s five. He’s five, like five fingers, and he lives in Room. There’s Table and Bed and Wardrobe (where he sleeps at night when Old Nick comes) and his Ma. Jack doesn’t understand yet but he and his mom are being held captive by Old Nick. Jack is getting curious and his mom is worried. They need to escape.

The narration is perfect as you experience the story from Jack’s point of view. Even his speech reflects his age. I loved the amazing little life his mom created for then, her own ability to cope and create, and their reintegration into society. I was completely enthralled with helping them escape – my mind was turning over options and details of the Room as I knew it. I think I even dreamt about it.

I loved how smart and observant Jack was as a narrator and I especially appreciated the author being able to tell the story through him while knowing readers could deduce more from his observations than he could.

I don’t remember what it was like to be that young. I have trouble remembering what it was like to feel like complete shit as a 21 year old. It made me try and see the world from a kid’s perspective. It feels impossible.

The child therapist points out that Jack might like counting things over and over because it makes him feel safe. I thought about that for me – did I count things or line things up when I was small to control my little world?

And then I thought reading…

I’ve always read things – it feels like an obsession when I’m out and about. Signs (especially at parks), rules, bulletin boards, magazine covers in waiting rooms. It’s distracting but comforting. When I read it’s like my brain gets lulled to sleep and all the anxious thoughts quiet down and all I hear in my head is my quiet, friendly voice reading. Like turning the volume on the TV down or how good it feels to slip under clean sheets in the dark.

My friend says I talk about reading differently than other people – that I describe it as an experience when y’know, I’m not really experiencing anything except sitting in a chair in my house. But he’s right – I remember where I was, what I ate, what crap was going on during most of the books I’ve read. Almost like a history map, my own personal photo album.

So here I’ll note what jumps out at me during this experience of reading Room:

  • Not sleeping well – dreams of escaping and problem solving
  • Wanting to read so badly, but I can’t because my sister was in town (took 3 days off)
  • Reading more than 20% of the book in one sitting, when I finished it
  • Being home alone and cruising through the pages
  • Emailing two friends about it because I want to recommend it to everyone
  • Talking to H about it because it’s taking up so much space in my head
  • Using it as a reward for getting work done

Now the question is – what to read next? xo