Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Tag: tea

day 14: stillness

Slept terribly last night due to construction and Carter being up, not feeling well. Sleep is a major part of my self-care, so when I don’t get enough, I just feel blah and usually angry about it. Haha.

Glad to report that the day went along fine anyway.

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See all of my August Break 2013 posts here

Sundays Are For – Family Time (Week 13)

A good night’s sleep, morning pages and cuddles. A long walk with H & Carter Cash to Starbucks for breakfast. Rain and sun peeking through clouds. Naps and hot showers and decorating. Christmas music. Lots and lots of reading. Ordering pizza and writing and hot tea. Watching football and not leaving the house. Both of us typing on our laptops at the kitchen table. Throwing out a few worn items and refolding a drawer of stuff to keep.

Dreading Monday but also grateful for this time. See more of my Sundays.

This Grateful Season – SoCal Fall

We know I complained like a baby about the heat the past few months. Some days, it felt unbearable. Others it was so perfect in the gray of the morning that you’d never know it’d be boiling hot by noon. I get it. We live in the desert. I live where we take full advantage of the water diversions of centuries and one day that water could run out.

But yesterday I took the above picture – 80s, sunny, with crisp leaves on the ground. Today it was rainy and “cold”. It was bliss. And with that I drank tea, did my work, cleaned my house and collaged a bit. And boy, did I need that.

As this Mercury Retrograde season slows me down, I’m hoping to have more days like today over the next few weeks.


Tea for Two Tuesday

Today was another shining example of the philosophy I’m testing out. In layman’s terms, it’s go with the flow. (More on this later)

The sun was too bright through the slider this morning, the Capricorn moon dragging me down. Yesterday’s full moon still pulled at me with its energies and I felt my energy slump. It was all I could do to get out of bed.

To counter, I made myself go for a run with the dog. The exercise sucked, but the wind was strong and sweet. It reminded me of spring in Boston. I wasn’t a runner when I lived there.

While running, I spoke to myself. It’s OK. We have this under control. Just do one thing at a time. I may have even asked God for some help. Good thing I did, because the rest of my day fell right into place.

  • Moved tea date to later in the afternoon to create more time for work
  • Work on work, feel unsure
  • Have call with boss / coworker. Reevaluate work and continue on
  • Have dinner plans magically cancel. Relief about gaining more time at home
  • Say aloud, “I’m being a perfectionist and they don’t care this much at all”. Keep moving along with what I need to do, and don’t get bogged down by sinking feeling of despair.
  • Get to tea break and enjoy being outside, the sun, the tea and KT, who is probably moving out of LA soon, but it’s good to see her when I can.
  • Leave tea date with what I think is plenty of time to make my haircut appt
  • Traffic is slow, so I return phone calls
  • One work friend suggests I call the salon and explain I’ll be late
  • After 40min in the car and still not out of West LA, I call
  • They promptly reschedule me just as I turn around and pass the on-ramp to get back on the freeway
  • I return home energized
  • I use said energy to work on more work, return work phone calls and draft my wedding ceremony
  • H cooks dinner, freeing up more of my time
  • We eat dinner and watch TV. He heads to the store for work, I blog.

Maybe it doesn’t translate as well, but really, all of these twists and turns in my day made everything fall right into place perfectly. It was effortless. I mean, I’m tired and look forward to bed, but I trusted each alteration to my day’s plan and it kept getting better and better.

And the real bonus is, I feel awesome despite the tiredness and constant changes. Days like the above would’ve left me in hysterics even 9 months ago. Now, days like this make me proud. I adapt, I ask for help and I trust.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

I’m getting married. Whew. There, I said it. I find that with all the time we’re putting into planning the actual wedding, I haven’t thought much about getting married.

Add to that the kicking and thrashing I’ve done against having a registry and I sound like a spoiled child. I know, I know, but we thought that since we’re blessed with jobs, an apartment, and surely enough stuff for two people, the last thing we want is *more* stuff. We registered for our honeymoon, and let me tell you, that did not go over well. Apparently you’re supposed to have a bridal shower so people can buy you things you “need” and you can’t expect people to show up to a party without gifts. Tangible, bought-from-Target-has-a-matching-placemat gift. Apsht.

ANYWAYS – whether I can wrap my head around “upgrading” my “stuff” because we’re “starting our lives together” or not, I’m not gonna lie – I was freakin’ delighted that the above showed up on my doorstep.

Score one for my grandma. She plucked the green tea kettle right off my registry and promptly sent it along with a note that said “Tea for two” before other guests even received their shower invitation. I can’t tell you how awesome this is – that my first shower gift happens to be one of the most coveted on my registry and that my Grandma, who instilled in me a love of tea and elephants and Scrabble, is the one who gifted it.

It makes me think about traditions and family and all those awesome things that getting married should bring up (as opposed to panic about who to invite or sadness over not being able to afford a live band).

Growing up, my grandma (mom’s mom) babysat us a lot. And we had this pink plastic tea set. She’d fill the teapot with warm Lipton, and the little milk carafe and sugar bowl for us too. Then we’d each fill up our tiny teacups, mostly with sugar, and pretend we were sophisticated people. At least I did. Pretty sure my sister was tending to her stuffed animals and my brother was trying his hardest not to break anything so Grandma didn’t “holler” (her word, not mine).

I was her first grandchild and she spoiled me. Today was no different.

“Hi Grandma. Thanks! Yours was the first gift to arrive. I love it.”

“Oh, well. That’s good. I was the first one there when you were born too because I was down in my office and the nurses called me”.

And as I told her about how we struggled with the honeymoon registry being “acceptable” and that I was happy she liked both our Kohls registry and the honeymoon one, she said, “Well, it’s just very different, your generation from mine. Still, you’ll have some of these items for a long time and when you use them you’ll think ‘so-and-so gave us that’.”

She’s right. Now every time I boil water in my green kettle, I’ll think of her.