Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Tag: waves

7 of 52: Year of Ocean

We’ve had a bought of rain here in SoCal, and while it’s not the snow-mageddon the rest of the country is experiencing this winter, it was quite the change for us. Luckily, we’re fine, our commutes weren’t too crazy, and the storms have passed.

But Carter Cash hates rain (avoids getting wet in general) and so the weather made it difficult to exercise him yesterday and today. And an exercised pup is a happy pup, so he was frustrated this morning. At first we thought we’d take him around the neighbohood on bikes, but as soon as we walked outside, we realized it was drizzling – no good for the bikes or the dog. Selfishly, I suggested we go down to the beach, so Carter would be entertained and I could get my weekly ocean visit in. Worked like a charm.

We didn’t walk very far, with our cafe vanillas from Coffee Bean, but it felt good to get out on to the sand. It was especially cool because the view was so different from a week ago – the ocean was a churning, foaming beast – you could feel it pounding and sucking at the sand.

Though Carter loves the sand, dogs aren’t allowed on the beach, so I took a quick walk out to the waves alone. I felt rushed b/c Carter was howling at me (this was interrupting his walk) but just being that close to natural energy – the ocean, the waves – and I felt something in me realign again.

It’s still baffling to me that I get to live this close to the Pacific ocean. That even though I’ve moved 3,000 miles from home, I am still less than a 20min drive from the sea.

I guess that’s just the Pisces in me. And it was a great time to say hello to the waters, as the new moon in Pisces was last night, welcoming us to be open to receiving, to go back to where life began, in water.

I always forget this is a Piscean principle… that us Fishes are so prone to giving that we forget to receive, to allow that loop to close. And with that, and my one little word for the year ~flow~, I move on into this week of work, friends and to-dos. I’ve signed-up for two online classes which I’m looking forward to, and I have a rock climbing class as well. All good things.

Hoping all is lovely for you whatever ocean you’re near. xo

*See all of my Year of Ocean

2 of 52, Year of Ocean

“Been so long since I’ve seen the ocean… guess I should” 
Counting Crows

Wasn’t in a great mood when I woke up. Moon in Pisces, bad dreams, last day of vacation. Blank mind, but anxiety. How does that happen?

Took myself down to the beach path for a 2m run alone. H had Carter. I decided to run super fast, see how quickly I could run a mile. Averaged under 10min/mile which is pretty awesome for me.

On my way back I walked out to the waves… and dolphins. Jumping in the breaks, sliding through the water, playing with the birds. As I watched them, I had an inkling, a tiny voice say: go in.

I haven’t really swam in the ocean since I was rescued by a life guard a few summers ago (that’s a story for a different time). But I know that Lisa Field-Elliot swims during the cold months and there was already a woman walking hip-deep in the tide, and those two surfers waiting patiently…

So I pulled my top off and placed my phone and keys in my hat and waded in.

It wasn’t as cold as I expected. In fact, it felt glorious. The water sucked and cradled my legs, the sounds hummed in my ears, the shock of wind against my wet skin gave me goose-bumps, and the dolphins continued to jump and play in the distance.

“How beautiful” I kept saying to myself.

My mind cleared, my body calmed, my soul was light.

It was exactly what I needed even though I didn’t know it.

After the dolphins moved on, I dunked my body twice in the sandy, churning water (though I couldn’t bring myself to put my head under – it wasn’t that warm). I let the waves push me back onto shore and walked back to my things, honoring the moon in Pisces, my one little word flow and myself.

**See all of my Year of Ocean

~written January 5th 2014