Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Tag: youtube

But first, rest

There was a new moon on Sunday – and I slept right through it. What a way to welcome in this new season, eh?

Sunday morning, I rollerbladed the dog to the Farmer’s Market (how LA of me, I know). Cruising through the stalls on my skates, I picked out blood oranges, rye bread and farm-fresh eggs. Back at home I cooked a full breakfast. We watched the Flyers game and ate our food.

And somewhere in the 3rd period, I started to nod off. And slept for over an hour, on the couch. H woke me up to ask if I wanted to go climbing, which I did – was looking forward to it all week – but I just couldn’t get moving.

I ended up back in bed, post-shower – warm, clean and more sleepy than before. The sliding door was open and a strong breeze was outside, rustling through the palms. I slept, fairly deeply, for over 3 hours. Each time I woke up, I listened to the breeze outside, felt the cool sheets, and just knew I needed to keep laying there until I felt filled back up.

It took until Monday morning, sleeping in later than I normally do, to finally make me feel rested.

Two weeks ago I attended a conference on higher ed social media. Last week, I spent the day at the YouTube Space in LA.

Both events set my mind churning with ideas.

I am not sure how to capture all of them. Not sure what to do with all of them. I can feel the potential for my work expanding and I can feel that I’m lagging behind. There’s not enough time to capture, organize, do.

Then something clicked – these big ideas I’m having, that could catapult me right out of my current space, are too much. I’m falling into the Mars retrograde problem of all show & no go. I don’t want to talk a big game, I want to create, produce and have something to show for my work.

It’s not about revamping my resume (though it needs an update) or about finding a new job (I like my current position). It’s about going deeper into what I do well and what I can create in my current position. It’s about the work I do for myself.

It rings true for my ideas about flow too – that I need to be ride the waves, be present, act on what’s in front of me, and honor the seasonal shifts.

So I think my day-long nap on Sunday gave me a new perspective – in a subconscious, processing way. There is a certain knowing I’m experiencing in the past month, a confidence in feeling that I am kicking butt, that I am prepared, that there is opportunity for me to step up my game.

But first, I needed to rest.

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Hymn All Week

Traveling again tonight – been home 5 days and we’re turning around to go out the door again. This time from LAX to Vegas where my parents are celebrating their 31st anniversary – wowza. I’m still doing well, using Evernote to track my projects and my next actions. Batted through everything again today. Amazing how it all falls into place when you let it go.

Flights in a few hours and then I’m off to a drunken-gambling-loud-noises weekend. Haha. Vegas is really *not* the place for me, but my whole immediate family will be there and I so look forward to spending time with them… and our first family trip as husband and wife. Ya.

Hope your weekend is a wee bit more relaxing. This cover by a gal I know, Aubrey Logan, has been my hymn all week. On repeat. Enjoy.

I don’t think you’re right for him / Think of what we might of been if you / took a bus to Chinatown / I’d be standing on Canal / and Bowery / And you be standing next to me ~Lumineers