Allowing Myself

…to feel, to love, to be.

Piqued

 

It was a quiet week – always grateful for that. I slept really well despite intense dreams, the cooler temps and darker mornings made for sleeping in some. We ate dinners at home, made it to the climbing gym and I got a haircut.

I feel like I did a really good job resting up before an overnight camping trip this weekend, 2nd Jimmy Eat World show in a month on Sunday plus traveling for work this coming week. I’m learning that I don’t just need recovery time after highly intense situations but I can build in “topping off” time to make sure my reserves are at their fullest before going into intense or tiring situations.

And now, a few links…

Kyla Roma is just a gem on her site. This post How I Live (Mostly Happily!) with Depression & Generalized Anxiety Disorder is not only an eye-opener about her experience, but also has a ton of links to resources and apps (!!). She writes “I had no idea how much of what I experienced daily wasn’t normal (and was optional!)” She makes the point that we only know the world as we know it, and if we’ve always felt a certain way, how can we know that that way is normal? More importantly, depression can make you forget you ever felt otherwise and obliterate you in its passing. It’s a good read.

“The process of making these books is good for you to help you process each season, appreciate it, and remember the details while also creating something to look back on in the future.” You may not know how much I love the idea of scrapbooking, but this list 10 Reasons To Give Scrapbooking A Chance hits on all the points of why I do. I just want to do it more and more. Journaling, blogging, photographing and scrapbooking. Tell all the stories!

I am continuing to learn more and more about introversion and being highly sensitive. I am not sure this applies to me for business meetings When Introverts Should Avoid Coffee, but in general, I am very sensitive to caffeine. Last weekend I had a mocha and was so wired I couldn’t think straight. Overall, I’ve switched back to tea, sip one latte a week (more for the comfort than caffeine) and avoid straight coffee entirely. Decaf doesn’t seem to matter, but the quality of the coffee does.

I linked to Elise’s blog before. Most recently she blogged her business story (you can read the entire thing here). In the last post, she spoke about her newest product idea, the BIG IDEA, the Get To Work Book. Crazy thing is, it isn’t even in production yet, and she won’t launch till July 2015. Being a paper / planner / Type-A / listmaker I am excited for the product, but more so, I am sooooo pumped she is sharing the process and behind-the-scenes of launching this product. #celebrationemoji

Years ago I wrote about stillness, and how I realized that it was never going to arrive, but instead be something I needed to actively seek amidst the activity of my full life. I think all the time – daily, at least – of TS’s Eliot’s lines from Four Quartets, We must be still and still moving. Being still in the middle of the busy-ness, that’s the goal, at least for me.  Finding ways to breathe and to be here, mostly because without doing that I miss my life.  And as I remind myself, over and over again, I chose this, this manifold set of responsibilities and identities which unfurl, shimmering, piling upon each other, beautiful and daunting at the same time.

The Slipstream of Life. Lindsey continues to break my heart and take my breath away.

Don’t forget to set your clock to “fall back” at 2am Sunday! Bye daylight savings time.

For the Halloween spirit, every year, Cathy Zielske wears a bee costume, and recently posts a video of her dancing as said bee. While the video is funny, the fact that she wears the same costume every year for 24 years is what tickles me. Check out the 2014 Bee Dance.

Lastly, h/t to my friend (and former boss) Emily for this delicious video of Patrick Fugit singing, rock star hair and all. #scorpio #obsessed

#30daysofdresses – day 29

Ggguyyyyyyssssss – I thought I was done. I thought this was #30.

But no – I miscounted and this is only 29.

Lovely, odd, prime 29.

Fine.

I never wear this dress, but forcing myself to wear it for this challenge reminded me that it is cute and I can totally rock it. Yes, it would look better with heels, but I don’t own black heels right now (and I can’t afford them because I just bought new boots).

This was a quiet, easy day at work – thank goodness.

Dress from Express forever ago. Necklace is an arrow. Flats are Payless (thanks mom!) Blown-out, over-editing by yours truly.

#30daysofdresses – day 28

Straight forward me.

Navy, pink, black dress. Blue jacket. Blue flats. Green bag.

Also, can we just jump up and down that IT’S NOT BLAZING HOT ANYMORE!?

Yay Fall in LA.

Dress from Ann Taylor LOFT. Jacket from Forever21. Flats from Payless (thanks Mom!).

#30daysofdresses – day 27

(Written Monday 10/27/14)

What happens when I have a mocha for Sunday brunch (first latte is weeks), plus watch Walking Dead before bed and then our fire alarm goes off at 4:45am on a Monday morning??

Ssstrrrreeeeesssssss.

But hey, look, the moon is void all day today, work is lame, and I have new boots. Paired with this cute dress my mom picked up for me at Christmas 2014. Because when I wear black it’s actually black and white in a cute pattern. See also day 15.

Yes – I went out with Jessica on Saturday for one last shopping trip before we do.not.hang.out.in.this.capacity again for at least 6 months. On the list: black boots and a jean vest.

Due to some awesome sales, I also picked up burgundy boots from Clarks and black jeans from American Eagle. And braved this huge mall at 1pm on a Saturday. Twas a good thing I spent the previous 24 hours alone in my apartment so I had the energy reserves for that chaos.

People are nuts.

I wanted black boots, but each time I see black boots I think they’re cute and then wish they were brown. Or tan, camel, navy, burgundy or sand colored. Anything but black. It felt like the smart thing to do was to purchase maroon boots — these would go with all of my navy colored clothes and be interesting enough that I could justify spending the money on them. See, style people, I’m learning.

But today, as I write this, I’m wearing the black ones. The fringe detail and the fact that they’re a different matte black is what gets me. So cute. Also, buy one get 25% off at Clarks this weekend AND I had $100 gift card from Christmas (thanks Mom!).

Yes, I hoard gift cards.

Did I mention I buy expensive, well made shoes and then wear them for 8-10 years?? #justifyingthecost

American Eagle was also having an amazing sale of buy one get a second item 50% off. When I put the cute jean vest on the counter, the cashier said, “If you grab any other item under $50 and not on clearance, it’ll be 50% off.”

“Fifty?” I repeated.

“Fifty” she nodded her head.

“I can do that,” I said, and took off looking for something I needed. Maroon boots? Check. Hoodie? Check. Cute dress with little flower print? Check and check.

But what do I love at AE if not their jeans… and after Jess asked if I owned a black pair of jeans (I did not), it was as simple as pulling my size and trying them on quickly in a dressing room.

(Also, their stores do not have mirrors anymore expect in the dressing rooms, where the mirrors are 11feet tall and 4feet wide. WTF?)

That’s it for my shopping on a Saturday story. If you’re about over this challenge just like I am, watch this video of Shoshana, the character on Girls who makes me laugh out loud every episode, and then re-read this post as if it’s her voice saying it. Today marks T-3 dresses weeeeeee!

#30daysofdresses – day 26

In where I repeat a dress…

It was bound to happen. I do have over 30 dresses, so my original intentions were good, but man oh man, if this isn’t difficult. Or at least annoying.

I’m realizing that this project would’ve suited me better if I had shared an outfit every day for a month – using it as a jumping off point for my own creativity. Like Sherry at Simply Celebrate, who dresses in the most unique and fun ways, I want my clothes to reflect me and how I feel.

Should’ve started with the feeling of each day and share why the clothes I picked served that purpose.

Instead, I decided to start with the challenge of wearing (almost) all of my dresses and I was pretty excited at the start. Now, I’m pretty excited for this challenge to be over. Haha.

So this outfit felt more creative / liberating since I picked it today based on how I was feeling. It’s one of my newest dresses, I love it so much, and I decided to wear it totally different from day 10.

Boots, jacket, feathery earrings = Total warrior princess.—Dress and jacket are Forever21. Boots are Clarks. Earrings are Kohls.

#30daysofdresses – day 25

Losing steam has meant getting creative.

This black dress is from WetSeal circa 2006. I purchased it in Boston for the end-of-school boozefest.

It’s a party dress, and an almost-skanky one at that. HOWEVER, throw a cardigan over it and voila, instant cute, swishy skirt for modest looking outfit.

Also, excellent hair day.

Dress is WetSeal and so old no one cares. Cardigan is Ann Taylor LOFT.

#30daysofdresses – day 24

This isn’t a very flattering photo. Clearly, I am losing steam. (Don’t think I was cut out for 30 day challenges.)

On this day, I got to speak with my therapist in the morning and my life coach at night… like a real Californian.

Boots are Kohls. Dress is probably Kohls, but it’s too old for me to care. The neckline is the best part and I blocked it with my hand. #fail

#30daysofdresses – day 23

This is one of those outfits I love – dress makes me feel all profesh, boots make me feel like a bad-ass. Perfect combo for a full day of work and meetings.

Wish I’d taken a more flattering photo of the whole outfit.

I’m trying to grow my hair out again. I miss it long and I would prefer it to be much closer to my shoulders than it is. :sigh: I’ve just felt pretty whatever about my haircut since July. We’ll see where it goes from here.

Oh, and the dress has pockets. #win

Dress from Ann Taylor LOFT forever ago. Boots are Clarks.

#30daysofdresses – day 22

Jacket on. Jacket off.

From work last Monday.

Felt like I was over this dress, but pairing it with boots and the blue jacket made it feel new and awesome.

Dress and jacket from Forever21. Boots from Kohls.

#30daysofdresses – day 21

The Sunday of our trip to Vegas meant brunch at the Jasmine restaurant inside the Bellagio. It was formal, elegant, and quiet (ah yes, finally I found a place in Vegas that is quiet). The restaurant overlooks the Bellagio fountains and each time the fountain show comes on, the music in the restaurant changes so you can hear the music that lines up with the water dance.

Oh, and my dress just happened to match the flowers & butterfly decor. #nailedit

After stuffing ourselves with breakfast items, Chinese food, sushi and ridiculous pastries (one had a pipette of rum stuck in it) we walked the Bellagio Conservatory to see the harvest flower display.

And then we were on our way back home to LA.

Dress is Kohls – purchased for $4 on the sale rack. Little yellow belt appears again. Purse is from Aldo.

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